Game of Life
by a kind alpaca
Summary: "Life is a game. It's a game of survival that not even the most intelligent can escape from. I would know. I've watched people come with cocky grins into this world, and they always end up six feet below the surface. It's a cycle that repeats itself for an eternity. I just wait for my own ending."


_Why was I brought into this world? Was I meant to be the subject of mockery for the amusement of others? Was I born to be a disgrace that would be the one to assure the pride of others? Was that the sole purpose of my birth?_

 _That's pathetic. That's disgusting. I am utterly horrified by the evils that man can do. We are just weak vulnerable creatures that can break at any moment like a twig. Are we not aware of that?_

 _Humans just go around and judge everything as if they were the ones with the correct answer. They prance around while carrying the thought that they're the most essential being in the universe. They think that life is as simple as the trivia question on a gameshow._

 _They're not. Their answer is nowhere near close to the actual truth. Life is a game, I'll say that much. But it's not a quick round, unless you completely mess up and decide to take the darkest route for your future. Life is more complicated than that._

 _You start in an unknown place, and once you learn all the manuals, you begin your quest. You face different monsters in various forms. Confusion, bravery, love, betrayal, defeat, they all play a significant role in one's journey._

 _Of course, we all know there's something missing. You need a boss to beat in the last phase of the course. Well, let me tell you a secret. That last phase...it's not actually the last part. If you manage to surpass that obstacle which comes in distinctive shapes (such as famine, unemployment, illness, something along those negative lines), then you've made it to the next level. And that next stage is another day._

 _And so, this small fun game lasts until you reach your limit. It ends the moment you give up and are ready to call it game over. The game is set, and no matter what, you will never beat this trial of life. You are destined to die from the very beginning. That's simply how it is._

 _And my point is that these imbeciles called humans are positive that they're the superior creatures in this vast planet. That statement right there is a complete lie._

 _Humans are weak selfish cowards that do nothing that doesn't benefit them. I know this, and I can vouch for this opinion of mine._

 _Everyone around me, every single one of my classmates is filled with envious thoughts. Their hearts are clouded with greed, blinding them to the very core. In their minds, the only word that exists is 'me'. It's all about them, no one else matters._

 _That's their mindset. It's sad, but I can't say I'm any better. I think the same way, I am human after all. Can you blame me for this, though?_

 _I've been surrounded by merciless humans, I've grown up alone because of them. I've lived my childhood with tears, frowns, bruises, and screams. I've seen the most atrocious acts done by mankind, and I'm very upset that this is the world we live in._

 _So, can you blame me? Can you look directly at my eyes and tell me it's all my fault? Can you do that? If so…_

 _Then maybe it's true. Maybe I am sadistic. I enjoy watching the fearful look in their eyes as I approach them. I enjoy hearing their pitiful voices beg for mercy. It's truly deplorable of them._

 _But the only reason why I do this is because of you. It's all for you._

 _I see you walking down the halls every day. It's always the same. You have on a happy expression as you talk to your 'friends'. You look at them with such joy and warmth...it makes me sick. Do they deserve your friendship? Do they truly care for your wellbeing?_

 _I do. I have, ever since the first day I laid eyes on you._

 _Do you remember that day? I do. It's still freshly painted on my mind. I can still feel the bolt of joy when you glanced over at me. Do you remember? You were giving a presentation about the clubs in our school, and you looked over at me. Your beautiful kind blue eyes had taken a chance and they locked with mine._

 _That moment, I couldn't stop staring. My chest began to bubble up with a new emotion that was entirely new to me. My palms began to turn sweaty, my stomach began to perform flip flops, and my whole view had changed._

 _I no longer had a monotone vision. I could enjoy the gorgeous shade of yellow which made up your attractive silky hair, and I could relinquish in the grace of the blue pigment. Blue, it's the color of the ocean, the color of the sky, but most importantly, it's the color of your gentle handsome eyes._

 _From that day on, I was entranced by you. I could only think about you, and every time I did, feelings of happiness washed over me._

 _You, the student council president, would never look at me. Always busy with work and assignments, time occupied by the sport you love to play so much, it meant I hardly ever talked to you._

 _But then one day, one lucky day, I bumped into someone on my way to the school's library. I looked up and saw stunned to see your precious face._

 _You asked me if I was alright, and becoming speechless by the melodious sound of your voice, I stood there._

 _You disgraced yourself when you placed your soft delicate hand on my filthy unworthy shoulder._

 _'_ _Are you alright, Kagamine-san?'_

 _Those were the first words you ever directed to me. You knew my name. I was very happy to know that._

 _That small accident motivated me. Every day, while walking around the school, I see your amiable smile, and I begin to think. I don't want you to ever lose that feature. I don't want you to lose that innocence of yours. I… I decided to make my vow and promise with my life to protect you from the brutal reality._

 _I was going to be the one to help you get through as many levels as possible. I was willing to turn evil for you._

 _Some may call it stalking, some may call it obsession. I call it devotion._

 _I did my best to keep up with you. I kept my watchful eye on you, I looked over your gracious soul. You shone greatly, your light beaming with such immense strength. You weren't like any of the devils disguised as humans in this land. You were an angel, a true pure angel with an honest and compassionate heart._

 _...I wasn't that. I was one of those demons. I had been stained by the most horrible acts committed by human beings…_

 _My own parents, the two that gave birth to me, were disappointed with the result of their 'love'._

 _They had given birth to a true monster. I was born with eyes of different colors-red and silver. Everyone was terrified of me, they despised me, they wanted to kill me. They thought that if they got rid of me, they would abolish the act of sinning from this world._

 _Such fools. Do they really think I'm the monster? Are they blind? They're the ones that are the heartless beings. Doing everything for their own goals, such selfishness that humans are capable of. I'm ashamed to be placed in the same category as these creatures._

 _...But the only one to ever treat me with such tenderness was you. You, my dear, were the only to offer your hand to such a lonely terrifying person like me. You were the only one to ever smile at me with such gentleness. It was only you._

 _And for you, I'm willing to stain these small hopeless hands of mine with the red crimson liquid that runs through the veins of Man. I am willing to kill for you so that you may continue with your successful young life. I am willing to be the devil all for your sake._

 _So, can you blame me? Can you really point your finger at me and accuse me of having no heart? I only ever did this for your beautiful smile. I only killed those girls because they were nothing but trash that was stopping you with your dreams. Their fake smiles were filled with nothing but lust, no genuine affection within them. Their shameless eyes were only looking at the cover, they had no intention of reading each word carefully in the book. Truly distasteful._

 _But the satisfaction was great. Hearing their woeful voices scream for my forgiveness was truly a reward like no other. It reminded me of the cruel harsh words that they threw at me for my difference._

 _'_ _How ugly. How can anyone ever love someone like that?'_

 _'_ _Tch. Little girl shouldn't even be here. She could be casting some spells to kill us right now.'_

 _'_ _How sad. Such scary person shouldn't be in this planet, she belongs in Hell with the rest of her relatives.'_

 _Very amusing. Those same girls that called me horrific names and threw me to the ground like an empty doll, were now on their knees, calling out my name with the intent of being saved. It truly sends shivers of pleasure down my spine. Justice comes in many forms, and it's always very engrossing._

 _Humans really are engaging creatures. They provide wonderful entertainment 'til the very last second._

 _Do you see that? Do you understand?_

 _I only killed him because he was distracting you, he was corrupting your mind with Man's narcissistic thoughts._

 _"_ _Stay away from her. She's bad news."_

 _He whispered those warnings to you as he tried to devour your purity. He, along with everyone else, was trying to mark your untainted soul. He wished for you to fall into the deepest parts of hell. I rescued you from that inhumane fate._

 _Aren't you grateful? I saved you from a world of oblivion, from a dark realm that would capture and consume your spirit. Aren't you thankful...?_

 _…_

 _…_

 _"_ _Please stop hurting others."_

 _"_ _You can't keep going on like this."_

 _"_ _Are you crazy?! Please stop this!"_

 _"_ _Just leave me alone."_

 _All your pleas were asking for me to come to a halt. You wanted me to pause my game._

 _You, my dear, abandoned me. You left me, just like everyone else. You called me names just like the other insects on this planet._

 _The kindness you showed me was nothing like the hostility you're giving me right now. Could it be that you were simply faking it all…?_

 _You, my precious angel, were forging the compassion towards me?_

 _Every smile, every shy glance, every word uttered… All of it was fabricated. None of it was authentic…_

 _…_

 _…_

 _Life knows how to strategically manipulate its pawns. I'm ashamed to admit that I fell right into its trap._

 _I was lured by your hypocritical eyes. Your captivating voice mesmerized me, and I ended up falling within your grasp._

 _I thought someone was worried about me. But I was wrong._

 _You, my dear, didn't care an ounce about me. It was simply all for show. I fell into a false friendship. How careless of me._

 _But for me to advance to the next square, I must eliminate you. After all, you're nothing but another puppet on strings._

 _The day I paid you a visit, you were surprisingly emotionless. When your eyes saw mine, you turned away, a new coldness revealing within your personality._

 _Those disgusting eyes of yours were now unsympathetic. It was giving me a headache and the only way to solve that, was for me to gouge them out._

 _Your screams filled with pain and anguish… Oh, how they sounded lovely! They made me feel alive and for once, glad to be living._

 _Blue eyes stared at me in shock as my hands tightened their hold on your neck. Those dainty fingers of yours were trying to pry off my own but with my experience, your efforts were simply a waste of time. But I must say, I remain impressed with your desire to succeed._

 _Adrenaline pumped through my veins, my whole body elated at the exciting sensation that was pouring in._

 _Loud cries of protest died out and were soon replaced with small whispers. I have taken your voice now, you may not speak to anyone else, got it?_

 _Tired eyes began to shut close as the tears poured out. You can no longer see anyone, alright?_

 _Dry blue lips squeaked out some last words as the air ran short for you. Ah, it's too bad. You really had an angelic voice but I guess it's fine now. No one else will receive the honor to hear it. Aren't you glad I was the last one you dedicated your words to?_

 _When I stopped hugging your neck, your entire face was lifeless. Your chubby cheeks lost color and you looked like a ragged doll. This form suits you well, if you ask me._

 _Isn't this amusing? It's just like what I was saying before. Humans walk the grounds with an unbelievable amount of confidence and then when they're at a weak spot, they fall and crumble down to the floor in disgrace as the body withers away. How wretched._

 _Life is a game. It's a game of survival that not even the most intelligent can escape from. I would know. I've watched people come with cocky grins into this world and they always end up six feet below the surface. It's a cycle that repeats itself for an eternity. I just wait for my own ending._

 _I know I'll be gone as well. I'm not scared, though. I know I'm no angel. I'm a demon that earns pleasure from the suffering of my fellow humans. I laugh at the agony of others. I smile at the abuse carved into people's skin. I jump with joy when I hear ugly sobs beg for their worthless lives. You can't call me evil. I'm not heartless or a monster. I'm simply a human._

 _I'm a human that's playing the game of life. My opponent knows my weakness and I'm left unarmed. I have no idea what's going to be thrown to me but I'm not going to fear for it. I either move on or I say game over. It's all about luck, wouldn't you say?_

 _I kill without regret because if I give into emotions, then I'm doomed. Call me the devil reincarnated but it's the way to play this game even though I'll have my own gruesome death as well. But until that day, I face life with the same courage. I see no point in living in this hell but for some odd reason, life likes to toy with me. It sees me as a fun match and wants to be with me a little longer._

 _It's not checkmate yet. I still have many more moves. This game is far from over. -Rin K._

* * *

Hey! Happy new year~

I found this in my documents and I decided to somewhat touch it up. If it's not clear, this is supposed to be like a journal entry. I don't know if I should make more or just leave this crap alone...

I own nothing but the shameful idea!


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